Like many adults, I am constantly navigating the world of coping strategies to see which ones help me feel and function better. One of my favorite strategies is Finding Hearts. It's not a commonly listed strategy in self help books (in fact, I may have made this one up). However, when I am feeling uncomfortable, overwhelmed, or having a particularly rough moment, I look for hearts.
Looking for hearts does a few things for my state of mind and well being:
1. It's a practice in grounding. Grounding is a technique used to decrease emotional distress that accommodates anxiety attacks, dissociation, PTSD and other intense emotional states. Grounding means bringing yourself to the present moment by checking in with your senses (what do you smell, hear, taste, feel, or see around you at the moment); checking in with your surroundings (look around you, identify where you are or what is in your view); and also checking in with yourself (say your name to yourself, state the date and time of day). Grounding basically means you pull yourself to the present moment. Finding hearts is one way to bring yourself to the present moment: scan your immediate surroundings; see if you can find any hearts hidden in the clouds, in the ceiling tiles, in the food you are eating, on your clothing, in the trees, etc...
2. Its a practice in focus. My ADD can take on a life of it's own and there are times when simply looking around for hearts helps my brain and body slow down enough so I can pay better attention to other details.
3. It's a practice in mindfulness. Mindfulness is observing the details of your surroundings (even your "inner surroundings"-- your feelings and state of mind) and being fully present in the moment.
4. The creative part of me simply loves this activity-- for me it feels like a mini-recess for my brain. It's playful, it's creative, and it's a nice break from the routine of the day that can be done in seconds or minutes.
5. The metaphysical/spiritual/curious part of me can't help but love the fact that we are surrounded by hidden hearts everywhere.
6. Photographing the hearts you find and sharing them (i.e. on social media) is a simple and fun way to connect with others. Once you start sharing them, you may find that your friends and loved ones start sending them to you as well.
Bonnie Thomas, LCSW
Indigo North Counseling