Back to School Tips to Reduce Anxiety and Transitional Stress in Children

A new school year is about to begin. For those of you who send your kids to private or public schools, this means your child has a multitude of changes to adjust to in the coming weeks.  Some children and teens do well with changes and even look forward to them.  For some, however, each and every change can trigger a sense of unease and even anxiety.  Let’s look at some strategies to reduce the stressors that can come with adjusting to change (even the happy changes).

New sleep/wake schedule:
If your child is the type that stays up later in the evening and/or sleeps later in the morning during summer, then you may want to plan ahead (about 2-3 weeks before school starts) by sending them to bed a little bit earlier each night and also waking them slightly earlier each morning.  
Why?  By preparing your child to go to bed and wake earlier for school, before the school year starts, you are reducing the fatigue that happens when sleep routines are adjusted and altered too quickly.  Fatigue adds to stress levels, and a tired brain and body is less able to take in all the instruction and complexities of paying attention.  On the contrary, when your child has a good sleep routine and is better rested, she’s better able to keep up with the demands of the school day.  


Transportation to and from school:
If you drive your child to school every day, and the route has not changed, then your child is likely well prepared for the drive to school.  However, if you have not driven that route in a while, it might help to do so before the first day of school just to be prepared for any detours or changes ahead of time.   If you have an anxiety-prone child the "practice drive" does 2 things:  1) re-familiarizes the child with the drive to and from school--this creates a sense of normalcy and routine 2) on the off chance that something drastic changed along that route, you will have time to discuss it and/or address any challenges ahead of time. 

If your child has a new bus route:

• Go to your school website and/or call the transportation department to get the new bus schedule.
• Drive the new bus route with your child so he can familiarize himself with the new route.  
• If your child is used to driving on the bus, review the bus rules from last year as well as “what to do if…happens on the bus” scenarios.  
• If your child is not used to riding on the bus:
  • Contact the school and/or bus department to see what support or advice they can offer for your first-time rider.  Every school is different, but some schools offer the chance to visit the bus garage to see the bus up close (and even get inside it); others may just give you the run-down of what to expect in terms of who the bus driver is and what the bus rules are.
  • If you have any neighbors with school age kids, you might want to check in with them to get some feedback about the bus ahead of time.  For example, if your child is particularly shy, introverted, or sensitive to noise levels, you will want to know whether the bus is particularly loud or crowded so you can have a coping plan in place for your child (i.e. she will wear headphones on the bus or sit closer to the front).  
• If appropriate or helpful, reach out to other parents of kids who will be at the bus stop.  Plan a fun gathering of the parents and kids prior to the first day of school.  Your child will then know who she can expect to see at the bus stop and be familiar with them.

Other helpful suggestions:

• Double check the bus route even if it’s been the same bus route for years.  
• Call the bus department to see if the bus driver is the same as last year.  
• For younger kids worried about riding the bus, buy or borrow a toy bus the child can play with before school starts.  Why?  Each and every positive exposure that the child has with a school bus (even toy ones) helps the child familiarize himself with school buses and alleviate a little fear.

New school, classroom, and/or teacher:

• If the school is new to you and your child, arrange for a tour and “meet-and-greet” with the school principal.  Again, every school is different so some schools will offer more support than others.  It is in the best interest of a worry-prone child to be able to meet the principal, teacher, and school nurse prior to starting a new school if at all possible.  
• If your child’s school allows, visit the school during summer months or prior to school starting.  Playing on the playground at the school or walking the halls familiarizes your child to the school and reduces anxiety. If your child is extremely shy or has a history of selective mutism (not talking to anyone other than family or loved ones) this is especially important. The more your child has exposure and experience talking on school grounds (because you are present with her during these visits) the better for her.
• If your child has ongoing medical issues, make sure your child has met the school nurse face to face before starting a new school.  In addition, as the parent, make sure you meet with the school staff necessary (the school nurse, guidance counselor, principal, classroom teacher) to go over all medical information the school needs to know to care for your child.  Be upfront from the beginning-- It’s extremely unsettling and concerning when a child has medical issues that do not get addressed appropriately in school, whether it’s due to the parent under-informing the school (yes, this happens), or the school not following a plan for the child (yes, this happens too).  
• Contact the school guidance counselor and discuss any concerns ahead of time.

General

In general, a regular routine during the school year can help reduce anxiety for kids overall.  A regular routine means a routine that is predictable for your child, i.e. the child knows dinner is at 6pm each night and bedtime is at 8pm.  If you’re the type of person who hates routine (I’m one of them) this can feel challenging and even counter-intuitive.  However, for kids who are susceptible to anxiety, the routine is a predictable backbone of their day.  The routine becomes structure that helps them manage the rest of the day’s craziness. Everything else may feel chaotic to them but they know, if nothing else, dinner is at 6pm and bedtime is at 8pm.  

Last, your child is heading back to school with kids they haven't seen in a while, or haven't met before.  Remind your child that sometimes kids return to school with a different appearance and/or new life experiences under their belt-- this can be anything from noticeable changes ( i.e. a radically different hairstyle) to ones the child cannot necessarily "see" (i.e. the child has experienced a tragic loss over the summer).  Encourage your child to treat him or herself with kindness and to extend that kindness to others as well for a smoother start the school year.  

Bonnie Thomas, LCSW
Indigo North Counseling
Copyright 2016
www.indigonorthcounseling.com