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Art Therapy 

2/19/2017

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Art therapy is an intervention and treatment modality I use a lot at my private practice.  Not only can it be used in conjunction with other therapy models, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it can be used with all ages and abilities. 
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I use art therapy in many forms at Indigo North Counseling, LLC— from drawing and painting to multimedia projects.  I use photography, mandalas, collage, writing, triptychs, shrines, totems, life maps, altered books, found objects art, dreamcatchers, storytelling, and more. 
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Art taps into a whole different language for people to express themselves and share their stories. You don’t have to be adept at using words, or explaining things verbally, or remembering linear details of your life when you use art as a language.  The colors, textures, symbols, and details speak for themselves— through metaphor, through process, through creation, and through release. 
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If you have a general interest in using art therapy to help you through a part of your life, to explore who you are, or to express any feelings, you may find some of the online activities to be helpful (use the keywords “art therapy activity” in your search engine).  
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However, if you need or desire more directed activity based on your unique needs, art therapy with a counselor or art therapist is recommended. Art therapy can be used to help with depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, acute stress, mood disregulation, self esteem, stress management, self care, adjustment to change, grief/loss, and more.  

The next time you look for a boost to your well being, don't forget to consider art as part of your self care regimen. 



Bonnie Thomas, LCSW
Indigo North Counseling, LLC
Copyright 2017 

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When Comfort Zones Fracture

11/30/2016

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Comfort Zones are those places, physical and metaphorical, that provide respite.  They can be places of residence, i.e. your own home or a loved ones home. They can be natural spaces such as the mountains, a forest, or the beach.  They can be places of sanctuary, prayer, and meditation. And comfort zones can also be needs or wants that regulate your level of comfort-- i.e. if someone  asks you to do something that doesn't feel right, or feel good, you might find yourself saying, "No--that's out of my comfort zone".  
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Comfort zones provide the space for us to reflect on our experiences.  People are not well equipped to process a lot of information (external and internal) when under stress, so finding and utilizing time to retreat to a safe and comfortable space allows us to truly think about, and feel, what is going on around us and within us.  
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But what happens when our comfort zones fracture? For example, what if the friend we always turn to for support is not available? What if a location where we typically find comfort is currently off limits? 

Comfort zones will fracture and evolve from time to time which is why I often suggest making sure you have a selection of comfort zones to begin with.  Diversifying is key. Here are various examples to consider:
  • Home itself-- some consider "home" to be their comfort zone.
  • A place within your home-- even if home is chaotic, there may be that one chair or one place in your residence that feels more comforting than the rest.
  • Comforting objects-- i.e. that favorite hoodie or pair of jeans; a piece of memorabilia; your smartphone.
  • A place-- i.e. a favorite coffee shop; a place you go to for support or solace such as a church, a weekly yoga class, or an AA group; a favorite getaway/vacation spot; a local garden or trail where you feel calm and at ease. 
  • A friend who really "gets" you and listens to you.
  • Foods-- the infamous "comfort foods", whatever those may be for you. 
  • Rituals-- those things we do each day that bring a sense of normalcy and routine-- getting a cup of tea, meditating, reading a book, walking the dog. 
  • Hobbies and passions-- i.e. making art, singing loudly to your favorite songs, dancing, writing, shopping, hiking, running, etc.
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​If you expand on the meaning and breadth of "comfort zones" you will be better prepared if one (or more) of your zones "fracture".  For example, if you move to a new place you might suddenly find yourself feeling out of sorts, whether you have moved across town or out of the country. While you adjust to the new feeling of "home" and orient yourself to new surroundings, you can still connect with close friends, keep familar routines, wear a favorite piece of clothing, or immerse yourself in a favorite activity.  Before you know it, you will have created new comfort zones and/or your fractured zones will be accessible once again. 
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An Overview of My Latest Book-- More Creative Coping Skills for Children: Activities, Games, Stories, and Handouts to Help Children Self Regulate

10/27/2016

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I have authored 4 books with Jessica Kingsley Publishers, and like many authors, I claim my most recent book as my favorite.  This is what it looks like:
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More Creative Coping Skills for Children: Activities, Games, Stories, and Handouts to Help Children Self-regulate is written for parents as well as professionals who work with children (i.e. counselors, social workers, teachers, day care providers, youth group leaders, recreational therapists, camp staff, etc.).  

​Each chapter in the book focuses on common challenges that children might struggle with.  Chapters include:

Building Interpersonal and Social Skills
Creating Healthy Boundaries
​Reducing Oppositional Behavior
​Anger Management 
Increasing Focus and Reducing Impulsivity
Taming Anxiety, Stuck Thoughts, and Stuck Behaviors
​Social Anxiety and Selective Mutism
Improving Sleep
Sadness and Depression
Increasing Self Confidence and Self Esteem
Loss and Grief
Traumatic Events and Illnesses
Family Challenges

Each chapter provides general support around approaching these challenges using games, helpful handouts, rating scales, activities, stories, and more to encourage skill building in each area.  Here are some examples: 
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Apologizing and owning our behaviors is an important social skill. ​Apology notes are included in the book to encourage and assist children to say they are sorry if/when needed.  
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Sample incentive charts are provided for parents to use.  Incentive charts can be helpful in reducing oppositional and resistant behaviors. 
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There are a few mandalas for coloring, because coloring is calming for the brain and body.  These are in the chapter Taming Anxiety and Stuck Thoughts and Stuck Behaviors. 
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I included scripts for guided imagery as well as progressive muscle relaxation-- these are key skills in calming and self regulation.
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Scales can be helpful for youth to define and communicate how they are experiencing moods, feelings, and behaviors.  The scales can also be used to keep track of patterns of progress and regression of symptoms (i.e. in winter months, a child reports more 4s and 5s...whereas in summer the child reports more 1s to 3s-- this is good information!).   An anxiety scale is also included in the book.
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I used to have a poster on my counseling door like this when I worked in a school.  Kids can tear off the section that they want to focus on for the day.  This is one of many ways kids can practice building self confidence and self esteem.  
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From the chapter on Grief and Loss-- losing a pet is challenging for many children, understandably so. I've worked with many children who have wanted to lovingly say goodbye to their pets after they died,  but didn't know how.  These scripts are provided to aid in the conversation parents and providers can have with children as well as provide some suggestions around what can be said to honor the pet at a funeral or remembrance ceremony. 
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The chapter on Family Challenges addresses tight budgets and poverty, building relationships, managing separations within the family (i.e. if a parent is in the military or incarcerated), changes in the family (i.e. divorce), and mental illness and substance abuse.
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At the end of each chapter there's an accompanying story.  Stories can help kids understand a situation through a different lens, as well as provide suggestions or solutions for challenges the kids might be facing.
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Kid-friendly games,  puppets, coloring sheets, and craft activities are also included throughout the book.  

If you'd like to see even more, go to this link at Amazon and use the "look inside" feature.  

Thanks so much for taking the time to learn more about my latest book!


Bonnie Thomas, LCSW
Indigo North Counseling, LLC
Copyright 2016
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Trauma Anniversaries -- Creating Safety and Space on Difficult Anniversary Dates

9/19/2016

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Many people who have experienced a traumatic event know that the annual anniversary of that event, and each year thereafter, can be emotionally challenging.  There are always exceptions, of course-- some people can experience the death of a loved one, a divorce, or a harrowing event and not notice any change in affect or physical symptoms on the anniversary.  For many people, however, the anniversary can create a sense of angst and side effects:  a feeling of unease, disrupted sleep, a feeling of dread regarding the anniversary, anxiety and restlessness, depression, grief and sadness, lack of focus and decreased attention, irritability, and more.  

However, there are ways to care for your mind, body, and spirit prior to the anniversary, and throughout, to get through it (and even feel stronger to deal with it).

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  1. Be proactive-- Schedule some self care prior to the anniversary. Examples of self care would be attending a class in yoga, art, or meditation; going to counseling or a support group (i.e. AA or NA); spending a weekend with friends and loved ones; attending a retreat; getting a massage or going to a spa; getting a one month gym membership, etc…  If you are low on cash or on a tight budget, schedule daily walks with a friend; meditate each day; get creative with art, journalling, or adult coloring books; have extra bubble baths; eat healthy meals; and/or spend time with loved ones. Whatever it is that relaxes you or feeds your soul, put it in your calendar prior to the anniversary.
  2. Acknowledge and care for your triggers.
    1. Smaller, more manageable triggers: Use those basic calming skills such as taking deep breaths, taking a brisk walk to burn off excess adrenaline, or calling a supportive friend.   In addition, keep self care items on hand for when uncomfortable feelings arise, such as tissues and extra makeup (in case you get teary); a natural remedy, such as Rescue Remedy, that helps reduce anxiety; an inspirational quote that helps you get through difficult moments; a piece of sour or spicy candy; or a worry stone/other comforting object to hold onto.   
    2. Larger, more intrusive triggers: consider counseling in one of the following “evidence based practices” that addresses triggers, phobias, and extreme anxiety.
      1. Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TFCBT)
      2. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
      3. Prolonged Exposure Therapy
      4. Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)
  3. Acknowledge and commemorate the event in a way that suits your personality and needs.  Here is a partial list of ideas:
    1. Donate money or donate blood for a cause related to the event.
    2. Complete 10 acts of kindness (or other chosen number) to “counteract” some of the negative feelings about the anniversary; or complete the acts of kindness in memory of someone who passed away.
    3. Create a ritual for yourself where you honor what you have survived and endured-- light a special candle for yourself; write down your feelings and thoughts about the event, burn it, and release the ashes; hike a mountain; say a special prayer.
    4. Collect a special item each year near the anniversary-- this may sound like a strange suggestion but hear me out on this one.  I know a person who buys herself a pair of “kick ass” boots on each anniversary.  She loves the quote about walking a mile in someone’s shoes--the boots are worn as a reminder of what she has been through and what she can conquer.  She wears the boots on days when she needs a little extra “kick”.  In this way, she honors her trauma anniversary and her own power over the event.  I know another person who started collecting angels--she now buys an angel on each year near her trauma anniversary.  Yet another person writes a new song each year about what he is still learning from his trauma and how the effects of it weave its way into his life each year. So, your “collected item” can be fun and inspirational, it can be in memory of someone, or it can be part of an ongoing story that you tell about your experience with the event.
    5. Celebrate your survival -- invite friends over and celebrate in a way that makes you feel strong, connected, and proud of what you have survived. This works well in cases like surviving cancer or surviving a messy divorce.
    6. Quiet reflection-- schedule a section of time where you turn off all screens and distractions.  Take that quiet time to reflect on what you have been through and what you have gained as a result.  
    7. Complete this creative directive:  Draw a horizon line on a piece of paper.  Below the horizon is where the traumatic event is -- it is underground and in the past.  Draw or write something to depict this traumatic event below the horizon line.  Next, draw or list the things you learned or gained as a result of the traumatic event -- do so above the horizon line.   You can be as detailed as you like-- some traumatic events have several components to it, and in these cases you can draw lines or other connectors to different areas of the event to mark what you learned or gained from them. I’ve seen responses such as “I got my dog after the event to help me feel safe again-- I can’t imagine my life without her now.  She was a huge part of my healing and recovery”;  “I had to learn how to care for things in the house after my partner died-- I’ve learned some basic plumbing and ‘fixer-upper’ skills”; “I met a whole new community and support group of people I now call close friends”.  Keep in mind that just because you learned or gained something from the traumatic event does not mean you have to appreciate it or even like it...it can be challenging to appreciate anything that comes from such an awful event.  But this exercise does help to reframe your thinking to the possibility that something good can arise from bad experiences--  this change in perspective (no matter how slight) can be healing for some people.   
    8. If you feel like hurting yourself or others, call 911 or your local emergency crisis number.  

There are more ways to get through a trauma anniversary--if you need or want more ideas you can research the topic of “trauma anniversaries” online, seek professional support, or reach out to loved ones for additional ideas.  

Bonnie Thomas, LCSW
Indigo North Counseling, LLC
Copyright 2016

http://www.indigonorthcounseling.com

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Life Altering Changes 101

9/13/2016

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Change comes in many forms.  The small changes in life are typically the more manageable ones, such as learning to ride a bike or making a new friend.  But there are changes-- life altering changes-- that require a whole different set of resources (internal and external) to manage.  Life altering changes include the death of a loved one, leaving a long term relationship, transitioning to a new identity, “coming out”, bringing a new child or sibling into the family, a traumatic event, leaving home for the first time, etc. ​
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As many of you know already, change is messy and exhausting-- sometimes even the “happy” changes can be messy and exhausting too.   Change also requires patience even when each and every cell in your body is screaming that it wants things to feel comfortable and okay and familiar RIGHT NOW.  

In an ideal world, at least in my ideal world, each of us would be compassionate and open minded to other people’s experiences, especially during these life changing ones.  In addition, we would also be more gentle with ourselves.

That being said, here are reminders and tips for getting through those life altering changes, as well how to help others going through the same.  

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Self Care during difficult changes:

  1. Reach out to friends, loved ones, and professionals who can offer support.
  2. Get plenty of rest, nutrients, fresh air, and hydration.
  3. Find an outlet for your emotions-- i.e. art, music, counseling, exercise, journaling.
  4. Allow yourself the space to cry if needed.  
  5. Create mini self-care kits to help you move forward after a good cry-- buy or repurpose a few makeup bags and pack them with a small pack of tissues, an instant cooling pack for your eyes, eye drops, a change in makeup, and sunglasses.  Keep the kits in your car, the bathroom, your office desk, etc...anywhere you might need access to one.  
  6. Find “your people”-- join an online or local support group of others going through the same or similar experience as you.  
  7. Remind yourself that change is uncomfortable and it’s okay to feel that discomfort.
  8. Keep a Gratitude Journal during this time-- I know that sounds counterintuitive but when you are adjusting to a whole new life, identity, or situation, everything can feel challenging, raw, and unforgivingly bleek.  A Gratitude Journal can help bring your mind and awareness to the things that are still going right and still feel familiar.  Write down all the positives that happen for you each day, whether it’s someone holding the door open for you, watching a new episode of a favorite series, or finding pleasure in something as simple as that first cup of coffee of the day.
  9. Take one photograph a day to document your journey and what you are going through.  Even if you never share it with anyone, you can look back and see that yes, this was a difficult change and yes, you survived it.   You’ll have a solid visual of what you endured.
  10. Pack yourself some bottled water and a healthy snack for tomorrow.  
  11. Write inspiring quotes and phrases on Post It notes and leave them where you can find them.
  12. Watch video clips of things that make you smile.  Sloths wearing jammies?  Snoop Dogg narrating nature videos?  Toonces the Driving Cat?
  13. As you start to find comfort and routine again, consider finding ways to help others.
  14. If you feel alone, depressed, isolated, or have thoughts about suicide, call your doctor or counselor or very best friend and be honest.  Ask for help.

How to be supportive to loved ones facing life-altering changes:

  1. Tell them, “I’m here if you want to talk.”
  2. If they do talk to you about what’s going on, listen.  Fight the urge to give advice or judge the people involved...just listen.  Let them know, “I’m so glad you talked to me about this.”
  3. Consider dropping off --or mailing--a “care package”.  Care packages can include items such as:
    1. Things to soothe red eyes and raw throats from crying-- tissues, eye drops, eye masks, ice cream, soup, cough drops or throat lozenges.
    2. A card that lets them know you are thinking of them.
    3. Natural remedies that help with anxiety, grief, or trauma such as arnica homeopathic pellets or Rescue Remedy.  
    4. Bubble bath, shower gel, and/or a battery operated candle (your friend might be stressed enough to leave a candle unattended, so a battery one that flickers like a real candle is a relaxing substitute).
    5. A few “nutrient-dense” snacks -- i.e. trail mix, dried fruit, nuts, protein bars.
    6. A special blanket to wrap up in.
    7. An audio book they’d enjoy.  
    8. A blank journal, an adult coloring book, and some art supplies to get creative.
    9. A gift card to their favorite coffee place or online store.
  4. Organize your friends, neighbors, family and/ or colleagues to make and deliver meals to the person and/or their family.  
  5. If your friend or loved one’s life altering change involves their identity, such as being transgender, remind yourself they are still the same person you have always known; use the person’s correct pronoun and name (this may take a lot of practice and repeating); and be an ally as much as you possibly can.  
  6. If your friend or loved one’s life altering change involves a death, it’s okay to talk about it (unless they ask you not to for now).  One of the hardest things for grieving people is when others stop talking about the person or pet that passed away.  Many grieving people want to share their memories and stories about their loved one.
  7. If they have a dog or a young child, offer to join them for a walk.  
  8. Spend time with them, especially if they seem to be isolating themselves or “disappearing”.  Offer to bring over a movie and “take-out".  
  9. Create a daily check in time-- i.e. each day at 3pm check in via text message, phone, or Facebook message to see if they need anything and just to let them know you are there for them.
  10. If your friend or loved one just had a baby or adopted a child, plan a weekly time that you can go over to help.  Let your friend nap, shower, or just stare at the wall while you take care of the child...at least for an hour or so. If the child is just not going to cooperate with this plan, then cook a meal or wash the dishes while your friend cares for the child.
  11. Keep the lines of communication open-- if you are having difficulty as well, let them know.  It’s okay to say, “This is a big change for me also, but we will get through it -- together.”
  12. Look online for other ways to support your friend through this particular change.  Search for key phrases like “how to help my friend going through a divorce”.

There are so many more ways to be gentle and real with yourself --and others --during a life altering change but I hope these lists serve as a good starting place.  

Bonnie Thomas, LCSW

Indigo North Counseling
Copyright 2016
www.indigonorthcounseling.com
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Finding Hearts-- A practice in mindfulness and grounding

9/8/2016

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Like many adults, I am constantly navigating the world of coping strategies to see which ones help me feel and function better.  One of my favorite strategies is Finding Hearts.  It's not a commonly listed strategy in self help books (in fact, I may have made this one up).  However, when I am feeling uncomfortable, overwhelmed, or having a particularly rough moment, I look for hearts.  
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Looking for hearts does a few things for my state of mind and well being:

1. It's a practice in grounding.  Grounding is a technique used to decrease emotional distress that accommodates anxiety attacks, dissociation, PTSD and other intense emotional states.  Grounding means bringing yourself to the present moment by checking in with your senses (what do you smell, hear, taste, feel, or see around you at the moment); checking in with your surroundings (look around you, identify where you are or what is in your view); and also checking in with yourself (say your name to yourself, state the date and time of day).  Grounding basically means you pull yourself to the present moment.  Finding hearts is one way to bring yourself to the present moment:  scan your immediate surroundings;  see if you can find any hearts hidden in the clouds, in the ceiling tiles, in the food you are eating, on your clothing, in the trees, etc... 
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2. Its a practice in focus.  My ADD can take on a life of it's own and there are times when simply looking around for hearts helps my brain and body slow down enough so I can pay better attention to other details. 
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3. It's a practice in mindfulness.  Mindfulness is observing the details of your surroundings (even your "inner surroundings"-- your feelings and state of mind) and being fully present in the moment. 
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4. The creative part of me simply loves this activity-- for me it feels like a mini-recess for my brain.  It's playful, it's creative, and it's a nice break from the routine of the day that can be done in seconds or minutes.
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5. The metaphysical/spiritual/curious part of me can't help but love the fact that we are surrounded by hidden hearts everywhere. 
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6. Photographing the hearts you find and sharing them (i.e. on social media) is a simple and fun way to connect with others. Once you start sharing them, you may find that your friends and loved ones start sending them to you as well.  


Bonnie Thomas, LCSW
Indigo North Counseling
Copyright 2016
www.indigonorthcounseling.com
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