When Comfort Zones Fracture

Comfort Zones are those places, physical and metaphorical, that provide respite.  They can be places of residence, i.e. your own home or a loved ones home. They can be natural spaces such as the mountains, a forest, or the beach.  They can be places of sanctuary, prayer, and meditation. And comfort zones can also be needs or wants that regulate your level of comfort-- i.e. if someone  asks you to do something that doesn't feel right, or feel good, you might find yourself saying, "No--that's out of my comfort zone".  

Comfort zones provide the space for us to reflect on our experiences.  People are not well equipped to process a lot of information (external and internal) when under stress, so finding and utilizing time to retreat to a safe and comfortable space allows us to truly think about, and feel, what is going on around us and within us.  

But what happens when our comfort zones fracture? For example, what if the friend we always turn to for support is not available? What if a location where we typically find comfort is currently off limits? 

Comfort zones will fracture and evolve from time to time which is why I often suggest making sure you have a selection of comfort zones to begin with.  Diversifying is key. Here are various examples to consider:

• Home itself-- some consider "home" to be their comfort zone.
• A place within your home-- even if home is chaotic, there may be that one chair or one place in your residence that feels more comforting than the rest.
• Comforting objects-- i.e. that favorite hoodie or pair of jeans; a piece of memorabilia; your smartphone.
• A place-- i.e. a favorite coffee shop; a place you go to for support or solace such as a church, a weekly yoga class, or an AA group; a favorite getaway/vacation spot; a local garden or trail where you feel calm and at ease. 
• A friend who really "gets" you and listens to you.
• Foods-- the infamous "comfort foods", whatever those may be for you. 
• Rituals-- those things we do each day that bring a sense of normalcy and routine-- getting a cup of tea, meditating, reading a book, walking the dog. 
• Hobbies and passions-- i.e. making art, singing loudly to your favorite songs, dancing, writing, shopping, hiking, running, etc.

​If you expand on the meaning and breadth of "comfort zones" you will be better prepared if one (or more) of your zones "fracture".  For example, if you move to a new place you might suddenly find yourself feeling out of sorts, whether you have moved across town or out of the country. While you adjust to the new feeling of "home" and orient yourself to new surroundings, you can still connect with close friends, keep familar routines, wear a favorite piece of clothing, or immerse yourself in a favorite activity.  Before you know it, you will have created new comfort zones and/or your fractured zones will be accessible once again.